


The Prince and His Knight - Part 5

by KinFletcher



Series: MMX Royal AU [5]
Category: Rockman X | Mega Man X
Genre: Blood and Gore, Dissociation, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Violence, a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:18:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6831250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinFletcher/pseuds/KinFletcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As X goes through grief and loss, Zero struggles to help him, but when Abel is under siege, he is forced to leave the prince's side and  fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Orchid Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone so much for all of your continuing support! All of your comments and kudos mean so much to me and keep me writing.

            Zero was grateful for the company of troops that rode with them to Abel. For safety, he and X were both dressed as soldiers this time, riding quietly in the middle of the small army. As they made their way around the mountain range that separated Giga City from Abel, storm clouds rolled in again, but it never rained. It simply cast a grey hue on the world. Zero liked it.

            He and X had to keep their distance from one another as the procession rode on. They had promised each other that their relationship would remain behind closed doors at Abel. But at night Zero ached for X’s quiet warmth, and his nightmares woke him up over and over again. He had slipped back into dreaming about hurting X, laughing as he sliced him apart or tortured him, and when he woke guilt hung heavy in the pit of his stomach. What part of him would do such a thing? He tried to remind himself that he had had violent nightmares for three years and never acted like his dream self, but the images of X bleeding and dying kept coming back to him. Zero didn’t believe in omens, but it still scared him.

            His mind was thus occupied on the four day journey back to Abel. When they saw the city walls, he let out a sigh of relief, and couldn’t help but look around for X. The prince was beaming, excitedly urging his horse forward but trying not to break ranks. It was obvious that he was looking forward to the return home. Zero smiled. Cain would be proud of the way that the prince had handled himself in Giga City, he was sure. And Zero himself would be grateful for the privacy of his own rooms. He realized it had been more than a month since he had slept in his own bed.

            Various troops split off from the group to station themselves around the city or further out in the country, but X and Zero stayed with the small portion of the army that funneled through the city gates. Zero was grateful that they had made it just before nightfall; they would have warm beds to sleep in instead of bedrolls out in the windy night.

            The city was strangely quiet.

            Zero shifted uncomfortably in his saddle, looking around. Signas had said that the rebellions had calmed, and yet no children played in the streets. Adults going about their daily business did so with shoulders sagging. It seemed like the only sounds were the horses’ hooves on the pavement and the snapping of flags in the wind. Zero looked at X, whose smile was slowly fading. The dread returned to his chest.

            At the castle, Zero and X rode to the head of the group. Signas walked out to meet them. The rest of the group dismounted and left to take their horses to the castle stables. Zero wanted to hold X’s arm. A suspicion of what had happened, why they had needed to come quickly, dropped on him.

            Signas put his hand on X’s shoulder when they met.

            “It’s good to see you again, Your Highness,” he said, in a tone that clearly indicated he was holding something back.

            “It’s good to see you too, Captain,” X said softly. “The city is very quiet today.”

            “Come inside,” said Signas, motioning for Zero to follow as well, and the captain put his hand on X’s back to guide him.

            They didn’t stop at the great hall, nor did they climb the stairs to X’s chambers or Cain’s solar. Signas led them to the sanctuary. Zero clenched his jaw as his heart sank into his stomach. When they turned the corner, Signas steadied X, holding the prince’s arm with his other hand.

            Light’s memorial statue had been replaced with one of Cain.

            X stared blankly up at the marble face of his uncle.

            “He was never officially a king, but he ruled for so long and was well-beloved, so a statue was made for him,” said Signas softly. “I am sorry, Your Highness.”

            Even the plants around the sanctuary seemed to go quiet as total silence filled the room.

            “What… happened?” asked X, his voice low and toneless.

            “One of Captain Marino’s lieutenants turned out to be a traitor,” said Signas, casting a glance at Zero. “Redips. It seems that he was the only one, but by the time we found out, it was too late.”

            Zero wanted to reach out to X, to hold him, comfort him, let him cry into his chest, but he stood rooted to the spot, watching the man he loved slowly come apart. X dropped to his knees in front of the statue and tears spilled down his cheeks. He made no sound, simply staring at the nameplate at the base of the statue. He pulled up one of the orchids and tore off its petals one by one, not looking at it, crying silently. Zero’s throat was so tight it ached.

            X tore up another orchid. And then another. Zero heard himself let out a shuddering breath as he struggled not to cry. X began to rock back and forward, hands stained with the pink blood of the orchids.

            Signas shook him gently. “Your Highness,” he said, “There is time for grieving, but you must take the crown soon. You have no living relatives. Abel needs a king.”

            “I never even said good-bye,” whispered X. “He was so worried about me. And then I left without saying good-bye.”

            “You had no choice,” insisted Signas. “You had to leave before…”

            The captain trailed off as X wrenched himself from his grasp, standing, chest heaving. “I can’t do it,” he said. “I couldn’t even save my uncle.” He was beginning to sob, his voice growing louder. Signas looked sadly at him and said nothing. X turned and brushed past Zero, breaking into a run as he mounted the stairs down the corridor and ran across the mezzanine to the royal chambers.

            Zero shared a glance with Signas.

            “Zero,” said Signas, looking down, “Your status as lieutenant has been temporarily revoked.”

            Signas held up his hand before Zero could open his mouth to ask why. “This is nominal only. I would still like you to attend war meetings and practice with the brigade. Before his death, Cain decided that it might mollify the people to think that you don’t hold power in the army.”

            Zero nodded, looking up where X had fled. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel frustrated at this turn of events. All he could think about was the prince.

            “Go to him,” Signas sighed. “You are his best friend, go, and stay with him. Send a servant to me when he is ready to leave his chambers again. I’ll think of some way to hold this place together while he grieves.”

            Zero nodded and sprinted up the stairs.

            The doors to Cain’s chambers had been thrown open. Zero went inside to find X in his uncle’s bedroom, on his knees by the side of the four-poster, sobbing into the covers.

            “X,” Zero tried to say, but no sound came out of his mouth. He walked quietly to the prince’s side. When he put his hand on X’s shoulder, the prince only cried harder. He lifted his face from the covers. It was blotchy and covered with tears. He took a few loud breaths, and then covered his face with his hands, hunching over.

            “Haven’t I grieved enough?” he said brokenly. “First Double turned out a traitor and then… and then I watch you die… and had make a grave for you—at least I thought I did, and now… my uncle…” He bunched up the white coverlet and buried his face in it again. “And there are so many traitors everywhere I don’t even know who to trust, how am I supposed to be king when I’m such a fool?”

            Zero just stood there, one hand on X’s shoulder. He didn’t know what to say, and his own grief was making his eyes water as well.

            “I never even said good-bye,” X repeated, starting to rock back and forth again. “I never even said good-bye.”

            Zero knelt and put his arms around the prince, who turned to cry into his leather soldier’s vest.

            “Don’t you die on me,” he sobbed, pounding one fist weakly against Zero’s chest. “You’re the only one I have left, you and Signas.” he coughed, crumpling against Zero. “I love you and I can’t lose you. Don’t you die on me.”

            Zero gathered him up, pressing kisses into his hair. “I won’t,” he said. Some part of him knew he couldn’t keep that promise for certain, as a soldier and a hated traitor in the city. He pushed the thought away. He didn’t want to imagine the grief that X would go through to lose him again.

            He put his arm under X’s legs and picked the prince up. X said nothing, so Zero quietly brought him out of Cain’s chambers and up to the prince’s own rooms.

            X’s chambers were, thankfully, empty of servants, but a tray of food was resting on the table in the solar. Zero let X down—the prince staggered but held himself up—and took the tray before helping the prince into his bedroom, shutting and locking the door.

            X sat down hard on his bed and put his head in his hands. Zero knelt on the floor beside him and set the tray down. He would have smiled at the contents of it if everything wasn’t so wrong. It was piled with X’s most cherished foods, sweets and fruits and tea—still hot. Signas must have ordered the servants to bring it up before coming out to meet them.

            Zero took an orange and peeled it with his nails before offering a slice to X.

            “I can’t eat right now,” said the prince, looking away from him.

            “We haven’t eaten all day,” said Zero. “Just one slice.”

            “Fine,” mumbled X. He coughed, rubbed the tears away from his face with his sleeve, and took the slice. He chewed and swallowed, and then Zero put another one in his hand. Begrudgingly, X ate it, too. They continued like this until the orange was almost gone. Zero ate the last few slices himself and then opened a little parcel of roasted almonds. He put one to X’s lips. X opened his mouth—probably to say that he didn’t want it, and Zero pressed it between his teeth. X’s shoulders sagged and he chewed.

            He took the handful of almonds that Zero gave him, tears finally slowing. They ate in silence. Lastly, Zero broke apart a blueberry tart and made X eat it, piece by piece. Satisfied, he picked up the tea and sniffed it. It was the prince’s favorite, rose, but as suspected, he detected a hint of a sleeping draught. He looked at X, whose eyes were red, his face suddenly older than it had been the day before, and offered him the tea.

            He pushed the tray away and sat on the bed next to the prince, putting an arm around his shoulders. The prince sipped the tea, coughing every so often, but he was quiet. He leaned against Zero.

            “Nobody’s been around to take care of your roses,” X said thickly.

            “I’m sure the servant who cleans my room has been keeping them just fine,” Zero assured him. “There’s a watering can right beneath the window.”

            “I hope that nice lady in the marketplace with the twins didn’t get hurt in the rebellions,” X hiccupped. “And the tulips…”

            Zero took the teacup as it started to slip from X’s fingers. He set it on the bedside table and X put his head in his hands again.

            “Stupid sleeping stuff,” said the prince.

            “You need it,” replied Zero, tugging the leather soldier’s clothes off of the prince so that he wouldn’t dirty his sheets or wake up sore.

            “You’ll stay, won’t you?” X looked at him. “And be here in the morning?”

            Zero nodded, unlacing X’s boots. X laid down. “Thank you,” he mumbled. By the time Zero had gotten himself out of his own uniform and into the X’s bed, the prince was already asleep.


	2. In the Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I'm really sorry for the hiatus. My grandfather passed away and that made it a little hard to write this. I'm okay now, so I'll try to finish up the series next week <3

            When Zero woke again, the room was dark except for a slat of faint dawn light filtering between the curtains over X’s window. He sat up groggily, looking at the unfamiliar surroundings, before he realized that he was alone.

            His heart stopped and he stared at the empty space where X ought to be sleeping next to him. Numb panic shot down his arms and he threw off the covers, dashing to the door. He ripped it open. The solar was quiet and empty.

            “X?” Zero called frantically, rounding the table. “X?”

            He ran towards the main chamber, thinking of going to check Cain’s old rooms, when one of the doors branching from the massive room opened and the prince peeked out.

            “Zero?” he said softly. Zero put a hand over his heart and leaned against the doorframe, letting out a huff of air.

            “My God, X,” he said, blood pounding in his ears. “I thought… I thought maybe something had happened, or you’d…”

            The prince shook his head, tucking a string of wet hair behind his ear, looking at Zero with concern. “I’m all right,” he said sadly, “I just wanted to take a bath, that’s all. I’m sorry for not warning you.” He gave Zero a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. It made Zero’s heart crack. But as the panic began to wear off, he couldn’t help looking down from X’s face. The prince was wearing only a lightweight linen tunic; much less than his usual fare.

            “Oh,” X flushed as he followed Zero’s gaze downward. “Sorry, I heard you calling and thought something was wrong so I didn’t take the time to… I’ll just…”

            He stepped back and hurriedly shut the bathing room door. Zero stood stock still, trying to set aside the image of X’s pale legs and remember what had happened the day before. It didn’t take long for him to mellow as he thought of the statue of Cain, not a minute’s walk from this very room. He leaned against the wall, rubbed a hand over his face, and sighed. It wasn’t going to be easy for him to let the old king regent go, either.

            The door opened again and X came out in a loose blue tunic and hose. Zero silently cursed himself and the heat thrumming in his lower stomach. The prince approached him and took his hand.

            “Do you think it would be poor etiquette for me to just stay here with you today?” he asked quietly.

            “Signas is already planning on that,” said Zero, combing his fingers through X’s wet hair. The cool texture soothed him. “He asked me to stay with you and send a servant when you’re ready to…”

            “To take the crown.” X swallowed and nodded. “At least the rebellions are calmed for now. I have a few days to… to grieve.”

            Zero took the prince’s shoulders and looked at him. His eyes were red and swollen. Their brilliant green, usually sparking with energy, seemed dull.  

            “I’m so sorry, X. I’m so sorry,” he said, and he was ashamed to hear his voice crack with the effort of holding back tears. He couldn’t help but feel that it was his fault for starting this whole chain of events, believing Double and then going to Wily’s castle, causing rebellions…

            X gave him another of his heartbreaking false smiles. “It’ll be all right,” he said. “I’m glad I have you here to help me through this.”

            Zero couldn’t think of what to say, nor did he trust himself to speak again, else tears would start flowing. X let go of him, but hovered, looking into his face as though he hoped to find some sort of cure in Zero’s eyes. Zero nodded, leaned down, and tipped X’s head up with one hand to kiss him. The prince’s lips were chapped and salty, and his face was cold. Zero pulled him close and X wound his hands into Zero’s tunic, a quiet little sob at the back of his throat.

            Suddenly the door to the antechamber cracked open and a small “Oh!” startled them apart. Zero whipped around to see a matronly woman standing there, steadying the tray of food she was carrying. Zero took a step back and turned away from her and X, heat rising in his cheeks.

            “Tildy!” cried X, and Zero heard his feet thumping across the floor. “I’m so glad you’re safe.” Zero stole a glance over his shoulder to see X hugging her.

            “Of course, Your Highness. Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked, giving him a kind, concerned smile when he let go of her. X looked at his feet as she crossed the room and passed Zero to set the tray of food on the table in the solar. Zero didn’t meet her eyes and hurriedly turned back, pointedly examining one of the pictures on the wall. It was a portrait of a young boy in pale blue robes. The paint was cracked and the frame loose. It looked like it could be a hundred years old.

            “I just worry about everyone now,” said X, following the servant.

            There was an awkward pause. “You have such a good heart, sire. You’ll do all right,” she said, before heading back across the main chamber. She glanced quickly at Zero as she passed. “I’ll… Well, I’ll leave you to… that.” She waved her hand in the direction of where X and Zero had been standing and quickly shut the door. Zero wanted to walk into the wall and cease existing.

            X came to his side and took his hand. “Sorry. Tildy’s a good woman. She’s been my servant for years.”

            “Do you think she’ll tell anyone what she saw?” asked Zero anxiously.

            X bit his lip. “I don’t think so. But… but maybe we should stop worrying about it. If I’m going to be king… I don’t want to hide a secret like that from my people.”

            Zero sighed. He didn’t want to admit that X was probably right. He reached out to stroke the prince’s hand, hesitantly. He glanced towards the door, wondering if the servant might return.

            X sensed his discomfort and led him back to his bedroom, locking the door behind them. Relief lifted some of the weight off of Zero’s shoulders. He took the prince’s face in his hands, examining his eyes closely again. The prince gazed back at him, earnest, mourning, afraid. Zero gathered him into an embrace, wishing that he could just fix everything, bring Cain back to life, go back and tell himself not to go to Wily’s castle… something. What if they could just run away together? Live a normal life? No. Abel was his home, and he was a soldier at heart. X would be king, and together they would defend the country they loved.

            X was crying quietly into his chest.

            Zero swallowed hard and patted his damp hair, pressing him closer.

            “I’m sorry,” said the prince thickly. “I told myself I wouldn’t…”

            Zero kissed the prince’s head. “It’s all right,” he said. He didn’t know what he really meant by it, but it was all he could think to say. The prince just cried in response. Zero thought X might be trying to speak, but he couldn’t discern the words, so he led the prince to the bed. He leaned against the headboard to allow X to rest against him. At some other time, the feeling of the slender prince’s body on top of his might have driven him mad, but now he just felt cold. He let tears fall silently down his cheeks as X shivered and wept into his tunic.

 

            The little slat of light in the room grew steadily brighter as the sun rose, and X’s tears slowed. After a while, they both just laid there, breathing in sync, saying nothing.

            X slowly pushed himself up. He rubbed his face with the loose sleeves of his tunic and coughed a little laugh.

            “I got you all wet,” he said, touching Zero’s front.

            Zero smiled, wiping his own tears away.

            “You cried too,” said X, punching him lightly. His cheeks were blotchy. “You _are_ sentimental.” He was smiling a little now, and it warmed Zero somewhat.

            “How could you ever say something so preposterous? Your wet hair got in my face,” he teased gently. “And this coming from the man who set grave markers around my head and left his own cloak on me. You could have frozen to death on the way home.”

            “This coming from the man who pretended that he was dead! I almost killed you when I heard you were alive!”

            Zero had worried that he might upset X by mentioning his supposed death, but the prince’s expression was brightening. He leaned down and played with the laces on Zero’s shirt.

            “I thought I’d lost the man I love,” he said, with a little lilt in his voice that tapped on Zero’s heartstrings.

            “Surely you could have found some other tall and handsome soldier in this army,” said Zero, putting his arms behind his head and cocking an eyebrow. “Or one of the pretty duchesses of Giga City?”

            X shook his head, smiling a little. “Maybe.” A short silence passed. “But I’d rather have you. I’m… really glad I found you on that battlefield three years ago.”

            Zero rubbed a hand up and down the prince’s side. “Did you like me from the first time you saw me?”

            “Well, seeing as your face was half covered in blood and you were sunburnt and all covered up in armor, not exactly.”

            “Oh, I see, you liked it when the armor was gone that day you walked in and I was chained to the hospital bed.”

            X flushed. “You were all peaked and thin that day. It’d been weeks since you’d even walked. Hardly attractive.”

            “Then you don’t like my body?” Zero teased.

            X’s flush spread to his ears. “I’ve not seen you undressed since then, except when you were covered in blood and splinters and all broken, and then when you were back in the hospital, scarred and bandaged. And you were peaked and thin then as well.”

            Zero grinned. He thought he shouldn’t say what he was thinking, but he couldn’t help himself. “Why are you blushing, X? Is something the matter?”

            X pursed his lips into a thin line. “Are you just trying to make me feel better?”

            “What?” said Zero, taken aback by the sudden shift in mood.

            “Distracting me with all this.” He waved his hand vaguely at Zero’s torso. “Are you just doing it to make me feel better?”

            “No. I wouldn’t,” he fumbled for words, “ _seduce_ you, if that’s what you’re asking. That wouldn’t help you feel better.” Guilt bubbled up in his throat. “Do… you want to talk about something else?”

            “No.” X sat up again and folded his arms. “Take your goddamn tunic off.”

            Zero’s head tingled. _He_ was blushing now. He had to force his mouth to work. “Are you sure? I don’t want to… I mean, if you don’t feel…”

            X glared at him.

            Heart thudding loudly in his ears, Zero sat up. X slid off of him and sat with his back against the wall, observing him with his arms still folded. Zero’s whole face felt hot as he unlaced the top of his padded soldier’s tunic, undid the belt, and then pulled the whole thing over his head. He dropped it on the floor beside the bed.

            X looked Zero up and down. There was silence for a while.

            “Well?” asked Zero, flustered.

            X placed a palm in the center of his chest, pushing him gently back against the pillows. Zero’s vision was blurring around the edges as his heart raced. Hadn’t it been only an hour ago—maybe less—that the prince had been crying on him? But his mind went blank when X kissed him over his heart, gently, and then looked up to smile softly at him.

            “I’m glad you’re alive,” he said. “Really, really glad.”

            Zero didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or pull him close and kiss him. X folded his hands over Zero’s chest and rested his cheek on them.

            “I liked your body, yes,” he said quietly. “But I also liked how different you were. I sort of liked how you were grumpy around me—nobody else does that. They’re too afraid. I liked how quiet you were, and how hard you tried to help and fit in where you could even though nobody trusted you. My… uncle… he saw that in you too. And then that day when Kaiser was here, and you saved me, and I saw how much you cared about me and how passionate you are even though you’re so stoic on the surface…” He trailed off, and then shrugged. “I never would have thought that I’d fall in love with someone like you, but here we are.”

            Zero melted. He wanted to return X’s prosaic speech, but he couldn’t conjure up the words to do it. He tugged on X’s sleeve and the prince scooted closer, propping himself up on one elbow. Zero took his shoulder, and he slid down into a deep kiss.

            Zero had thought that after kissing X enough times, the swooning feeling would go away, but it had yet to, and so his thoughts ran away and his mouth and breath felt like sparks. X hooked one leg around Zero’s, and his lips parted. Zero couldn’t help the sigh that escaped him as he let X’s tongue slip into his mouth. He’d imagined it a thousand times, and now here he was, with the prince slowly tracing the inside of his lip, and he thought he might just pass out. He couldn’t even lift his arm to tangle his fingers into X’s hair. He just tilted his head and let his jaw go slack and tried to stamp forever in his mind the feeling of the prince’s warm tongue in his mouth.

            When X finally drew away, Zero resisted the urge to catch his shirt and pull him back again. He licked his lips.

            “Wow,” said X.

            Zero laughed breathlessly and looked at the canopy above him. “Wow,” he echoed.

            The silence that passed after that was comfortable.

            “Breakfast,” said Zero, suddenly remembering. “Tilly. Brought food.”

            “Tildy,” X corrected him. He sighed, looking wistfully at Zero’s bare chest. “I suppose you’re right. We should eat.”

            Zero sat up and gazed at the prince. He wanted to ask if they could kiss some more after that, but he knew that with the distraction gone, X might lose his appetite—or appetites. His expression was already beginning to grow solemn again. Zero picked up the prince’s hand and kissed it. “It’ll be all right,” he said again, a little surer this time.

                       

-

 

            Later, after a slow and cold breakfast, there was a little knock on the solar’s door. X stood and went back into his bedroom, closing the door and leaving Zero to answer it. As it turned out, it was for the ex-lieutenant. A servant delivered a small scroll of parchment, saying she was told she would find Zero here. She looked curiously at the Zero until, growing uncomfortable, he stepped back and shut the door on her.

            The message was from Signas.

            “ _Zero,_

_A military meeting was conducted this morning. I apologize for not including you in it; I thought it best you stayed with the prince for now. But I will keep you informed. It has been decided that lieutenants Axl and Lumine will oversee new peacekeeping procedures in Abel and Doppler respectively. We will be taking extra precaution during this fragile time while the crown is in limbo. After the prince’s coronation, we will work on restoring your status and hopefully gathering our forces to defeat Maverick before Sigma’s army grows too large._

_Cpt. Signas_

_PS: There is little way to put this tactfully; please exercise discretion in your relations with the prince. There will need to be an heir appointed before you two can enter into any sort of union as, obviously, you cannot produce one yourselves._ ”

            Zero crumpled the letter and covered his face after reading the postscript. Word spread altogether too quickly in this castle.


	3. Ready or Not

            Once X started to recover and become more robust again, Zero had to admit that it was nice to spend some time simply resting with him in his chambers, yet he found himself missing the sun. Some days he even caught himself thinking that just a walk in the gardens would be welcome. He could feel himself losing the bulk of his muscles, and his fingers ached for a sword hilt. Whenever he asked X about the crown or mentioned what Signas had said in the letter, the prince went quiet.

            “Signas seems to be dealing fine with it all by himself,” he said once. “He’s making a better leader than I ever would.”

 

-

 

            It had been two weeks. While X was in the bathing room, Zero threw the bedroom curtains open, hoping for some sunlight, but the sky was cloudy. His mood quickly turned as gloomy as the weather outside. Nevertheless, he unlatched the window and leaned out, drinking in the fresh air. X’s tower was dizzyingly high and faced away from the town. The window’s view was instead directed mainly to the royal gardens, the stables, and the hunting grounds in the distance. Zero squinted; there were a lot of people around the stables. He wondered briefly if new recruits were being introduced to the horses.

            He heard X enter the room, and stepped back, guiltily closing the window and curtains again.

            “Zero?”

            Zero tried to smile, turning to the prince as he approached. He liked the smell of his perfumed bath water. But X was looking at him with concern.

            “Is everything all right?”

            “I’m fine, X,” said Zero, but he knew that X would see straight through him. The prince took his hand and looked into his face. Zero avoided his gaze. His chest tightened.

            “You feel awful here, don’t you?” said X softly. The miserable note in his voice made Zero’s heart crack.

            “That’s not it. I love this place, I love you and I love being with you… I just…”

            “Do you want to leave?’

            Zero ran a hand through his hair. “No, it’s just… It’s been two weeks now. We… You can’t hide from this forever.”

            “I’m not _hiding_ ,” said X desperately. “I just don’t know how to run a country. I’d fail everybody. I’m nothing compared to what my uncle was. I have no experience.”

            “You’ve been groomed for this since you were a baby,” insisted Zero. “I’ve seen how much you care about Abel. You performed so well at Giga City. I know you can do this. Please.”

            Zero rarely pleaded, and surprise at it registered on X’s face. The prince hung his head.

            “I’m scared that I’ll end up hurting people,” he said quietly.

            Zero tried to calm the little flame of frustration that started sparking in his stomach.

            “If you never go through with this, I’ll never be a lieutenant again,” He said slowly. “Remember Signas’ letter? He said _after_ your coronation.”

            When X looked up, his eyes were hard. Zero took a step back.

            “What if I don’t _want_ you to be a lieutenant anymore? That’s what almost killed you before. I don’t want to go off to battle and die.”

            “This country is going to fall apart without a leader, you know it will, and I’m going to go out there and fight for it whether you like it or not,” Zero said coldly.

            X looked like he had been slapped in the face. Total silence filled the room for a moment. Zero couldn’t decide if he regretted what he’d said or not, but he very suddenly did not want to be in the same room with X. He didn’t want to fight with the prince—they’d never fought, not truly, and it couldn’t start now. He needed to get away and cool down. He swallowed hard and made for the door.

            “Zero? Come back, please, I just…”

            Zero continued walking.

            “ _Don’t you leave_ ,” said X sternly, just as Zero was reaching for the door latch.

            Zero looked over his shoulder. The frustration was quickly turning to anger, and it came licking up into his ribcage. X walked to him, flushed, and grabbed his arm. Zero threw him off.

            “You can’t just keep me in here,” he spat.

            “I’m the prince. You’ll do what I tell you to do.”

            “Actually, Your Highness, Signas holds more power than a prince right now. If you want me to stay, then become king and _make me_.”

            Another heavy silence fell in the room as X stared at him with an unreadable expression. Two breaths passed. Then, Zero suddenly found himself thrown against the door. The handle jabbed into his side. X had his shirt in his fists.

            Zero held his hands up, heart pounding. X’s face was inches from his.

            “Would that really make you happy, Zero? Staying here at my command? You’ll still want to leave me. You’ll still want to go fight.”

            Zero deflated. He opened his mouth, but his mind resisted speaking. He rested one hand on X’s arm and drew a deep breath.

            “I love you,” he said, and he saw X’s shoulders relax. “I don’t want to _leave_ you. I want to be here every night for you. I’m only… scared… that things will get out of hand if we don’t take up our responsibilities soon, and then maybe we won’t ever be able to be together.”

            X dropped his head on Zero’s chest.

            “Maybe you’re right,” he said quietly. “I just don’t feel ready. I’m scared.”

            “I know,” said Zero, wrapping his arms around the prince and kissing his still-wet hair. X turned his head, and Zero knew he was listening to his heartbeat. X said it soothed him to ‘hear life’.

            Suddenly Zero hheard footsteps running up the tower and through the antechamber. He stiffened warily. There was an urgent rap on the door, a knock Zero recognized. Signas. He cast a glance at X, who clung to him, expression slowly turning fearful. Zero opened the door to the solar and rounded the table there, X trailing behind him.

            Signas was breathing hard, his normally perfectly-combed hair disheveled, strands clinging to his face. Numbness spread down Zero’s limbs. He took Signas’ shoulder.

            “Maverick,” said Signas. “Scouts reckon it to be the entire army. Marching this way. Be here in two days. Lieutenant Lumine has been captured by spies.”

            Zero looked at X. The prince’s eyes were starting to well with tears.

            “I am sorry, Your Highness, but I need Lieutenant Zero in the war council and then at the head of the brigades immediately.”

            “‘Lieutenant’?” asked Zero.

            Signas waved his hand. “Reinstated. We need your expertise.”

            “W-When will you be back?” asked X. A tear slid down his cheek.

            Signas shook his head. “There’s no telling how long a battle can last, sire.” Zero shot him a warning glance. X would surely break if Signas mentioned the idea that they might not return. “Scouts are already on their way to Giga City for reinforcements,” said Signas in what he probably thought was a reassuring tone. “We’ve been able to gather the bulk of our forces together already. But we really need to go, now, and get organized.”

            X’s face was blotchy. Zero’s throat stung. He pulled the prince to him and kissed him. A part of him, the cold remains of his memories, wondered if this would be his last kiss. He tried to push the thought away, but this time he couldn’t, and he held on to the prince, kissing him longer, as tears streamed down X’s face.

            “Lieutenant,” said Signas. “Now.”

            Zero broke the kiss and looked into X’s eyes one last time, trying to keep the fear out of his own expression.

            “Please, God, no,” sobbed X as Zero turned away. “Please, don’t leave me, don’t go like everyone else!”

            Zero squeezed his eyes shut as he stepped out onto the staircase. Signas shut the door. Zero could hear X sobbing all the way down the stairs. Signas gripped his shoulder.

            “Best not die in this battle,” he said. Zero knew that he was trying to lighten the mood, but he couldn’t even bring himself to smile.

 

-

 

            Two days later, Zero rode at the head of waves of soldiers and spears, steadying Colonel’s old horse, sword in hand. He no longer wished to hold the blade. Even as he stared at the ranks of violet-clad Mavericks and the wind whipped at his face, he could think only of X. The sound of the prince’s crying echoed in his mind as the war horns blasted behind him.

            _Best not die in this battle_ , he thought, and urged the horse forward as arrows whistled over his head and the foot soldiers swarmed and clashed on the field.

           

           

 


	4. Turmoil

            Zero had fought in several small skirmishes, but never a battle of this magnitude—at least not in his memory. The smell of horses, fore, and hot metal all stormed in the air. It set his blood seething. A battle cry erupted, and he urged his brigades forward and into the fray.

            The first footman that crossed him caught Zero’s sword in his shoulder and went down immediately. It almost wrenched the sword from Zero’s grasp, but the lieutenant tapped the horse’s flanks and it reared back. Zero tugged his sword back, and when the horse came down, it trampled another injured man.

            Zero’s heart pounded in his ears as the air filled with shouts—curses, dying screams, war fury. He tore through foot soldiers, bringing down calculated blows on those within his sword’s reach. Some ran at the sight of the fearsome war horse—or perhaps from Zero himself. The horse’s hooves pounded on earth and fallen bodies, and each beat went straight through Zero’s body. It felt familiar. It felt incredible.

            An arrow struck his horse’s armor. The beast bucked, mouth frothing. Zero grit his teeth, dread numbing his legs, and held tight to the reigns, looking over to survey the damage. The arrow hadn’t pierced all the way through the armor. Zero kicked it off and sent the horse galloping far into the enemy’s ranks. The cries of Abel’s elite soldiers behind him as they followed brought him back down from the momentary panic of the arrow shot.

            They met the Maverick cavalry sooner than Zero expected. The men hulked over their horses in massive plated armor, but the sight only made some part of Zero spark with delight at the challenge. He took down the first soldier with ease, gliding his sword across the Maverick’s steed’s flank as he passed. He looked over his shoulder to see the horse topple, and then an Abel soldier—one of the old Unit 0 brigadiers—run the soldier down.

            He turned back, and realized suddenly that he was laughing. As another soldier swung a morning star at him, he tried to ignore the jolt of horror the laughter gave him. He was in the thick of the enemy’s most powerful soldiers. He couldn’t lose himself now.

            _Best not die in this war_.

            Zero dodged the morning star, nearly unseating himself from his horse, and then lashed back. He swung his arm right, and then left again, chopping at the larger soldier’s neck. When scarlet plummeted down the soldier’s violet armor, Zero clenched his horse’s reins and galloped forward.

            It was becoming harder to dodge blows from the soldiers all around him. Zero wished momentarily for Treble, still hardy, but much lighter than this warhorse. She could have danced circles around these enemies. Nevertheless, he slipped into a state of strange quietude. His body moved together with his sword, and he evaded strikes from cavalry and foot units alike. He lost count of how many soldiers he had taken down. The sounds of war faded to the sound of his own breath, controlled with each swing, and the heavy pounding of heart with his horse’s hooves.

            When Zero slashed his way through a knot of cavalry at the hill which marked the border to no man’s land, he suddenly realized that there were no more soldiers in front of him to fight. He swerved an about-face and caught a glimpse of the entire battlefield from the vantage point of the hill. Violet swirled among the white and blue of Abel soldiers. His stomach dropped as he realized how heavily outnumbered they were, despite their new recruits and reinforcements. The brigadiers that had followed him were still fighting, beset on every side by violet cavalry. Twilight was beginning to settle, but the battle waged on; the Maverick soldiers would not relent for rest.

            Zero suddenly wished that he was closer to the castle.

            He stretched his shoulder once and then leaned down to push the horse forward, but as he began to move he suddenly felt the horse jolt beneath him. It let out a terrifying sound and suddenly the ground came rushing up to meet him.

            Zero wrenched his foot out of the stirrup just in time to get keep his leg from being snapped on impact, but when his helmet hit earth it sent his head spinning. He clawed himself to his hands and knees, freeing himself from the tangle of the horse’s armor and reigns, and found his sword, vision blurry.

            Staggering, Zero squinted at the horse, still kicking and frothing on the side of the hill. A massive crossbow bolt was lodged into its flank. Zero doubted he could pull it out even if it might save the horse; instead he spun towards the direction the bolt had hit them.

            Sigma thrust the crossbow aside and drew a broadsword from its sheath. He had been far away, but the man moved faster than Zero ever could have predicted. In a matter of moments what he had only recognized as a silhouette was nearly upon him, and Zero saw Sigma’s maniacal grin just before the broadsword swung.

            Zero ducked and rolled. Still disoriented from his fall, he got up only just in time to avoid another blow from the colossal sword. He imagined that the thing could shear through his armor with little effort. Zero jumped back, nearly slipping on the grass of the hill, and looked back at Sigma’s face. The man paused momentarily to glare at him, still smiling wickedly.

            “I expected more of a challenge,” said the Sigma, in his rumbling voice. It sent a shiver crawling down Zero’s spine. The memories of that day in Wily’s abandoned town surfaced, refusing to be ignored. Zero could still feel phantom pain of the whip marks.

            Sigma obviously remembered as well. Zero tried to circle him to gain the upper ground, but the man matched him step for step, up the hill. He spat on the ground in front of him.

            “Heard you made it back to your precious prince,” he said. “How are the whip marks? Did he kiss them better for you?”

            Zero glared at him, feeling his face grow hot. X _had_ kissed the marks, every night, so gently. The memory made his blood boil. If it weren’t for Sigma, he could be back with X now. If it weren’t for Sigma, none of this would have happened. So much death. So much grief.

            Sigma laughed. “I used to think that you and I were cut from the same cloth, but now I see that you’re weak.”

            “I’ll _never_ be like you,” Zero spat.

            “Oh?” Sigma still held the broadsword, poised to defend or to attack. “You were once. Don’t you recall? In Maverick you’re called the Blood Drinker. You tore cities apart when you were thirteen years old.”

            Zero shook his head as the nightmares began to growl.

            “All that legacy for nothing, though. You’re just a selfish brat like that little prince, and I’ll cut you both apart. I’ll put your bodies on pikes and parade you through the streets of Abel.”

            The image sent a sweep of fear from Zero’s head to his feet, but he took the surge of adrenaline as an opportunity to strike. He managed to nick Sigma’s throat, but the other man sidestepped the majority of the blow and landed a punch squarely on Zero’s jaw.

            Blood filled his mouth as he jumped back. He spat, struggling to keep his focus on Sigma.

            “That’s right, good, good, come and fight me, Blood Drinker. Tear me apart like all those other soldiers. I know you’re lying when you say you don’t remember.”

            Zero swung his sword, but the miscalculated strike merely clanged off of Sigma’s armor. The man laughed.

            “You know it’s all your fault, don’t you?” he said. Zero paused, clenching his bloody teeth and trying to catch his breath and collect his thoughts, but his mind was caught up in nightmares. Anger was frothing in his chest, threatening to eat him.

            “That’s right, Zero, didn’t you know? Everyone in Abel knows you’re a blood drinker too. Leaders and people alike, they came to me and worked for me, all because of you. Their fear of you spread like a disease.” He grinned. “And now they’ll all die for it.”

            Zero heard himself scream, saw the world around him shifting, but his awareness was dim, blotted out by utter rage and bloodlust. His limbs moved with more ferocity and speed, and the sword in his hand felt like it was burning. He was laughing, cruel, vicious. Wily’s son. A prince. A blood drinker.

            Somewhere he heard Sigma’s voice, muffled and breaking. “Someday your prince will die because of you.”

_X_. Green eyes. Pale skin. Soft hands on his shoulders. Gentle kisses on his scars. Warm tongue in his mouth. Roses. Tears. Desperate, desperate love. Zero clutched his head and screamed. The memories were playing their own battle in his mind. Hatred and fear and fluttering happiness and relief, thrumming and throbbing and crashing and tearing him apart. 


            _Best not die in this war._

            Zero heard X sobbing again, crying for him to come back. He couldn’t lose himself now. He couldn’t.

            Awareness came crashing back on him like a wave of icy water. He was straddling Sigma. The man’s helmet was gone, as was his sword arm. Zero’s sword lay in the grass, soaked in blood. Zero stared at him. Sigma looked back with soulless eyes.

            _I cannot be this monster_ , thought Zero. He took his sword in both hands.

            “It’s… a shame… You’d almost attained your true potential… Your true self…” Sigma coughed a laugh.

            Zero drove his sword into Sigma’s throat.

 

-

 

            Night was heavy now. Zero had sat on top of Sigma’s corpse, clutching his sword and sobbing, until retreating soldiers came to meet him. He had climbed to his feet and fought, completely numb, as the day turned to twilight. His arms felt heavy, his shoulders groaned with every block or swing of his sword. As faint purple lit the cloudy horizon, Zero turned in a gap between spars to see Giga City forces spilling into the valley from the west, around both sides of Abel. Relief flooded through him, and with it came an awareness of all of the scratches and small wounds he had taken in his careless fighting after Sigma’s death. He stumbled down the hill, falling on his hands and knees at the bottom, and went to join the battle with renewed hope.

            In the darkness, the few soldiers left to fight him, Zero dispatched of automatically. He looked over the field of corpses. It was reminiscent of the day he had woken up on the battle field and started his new life. As he wound his way around the bodies, both violet and white, he swore to himself that this new life was where he would stay.

            The castle was too far away for him to reach in the night. Every part of him ached. His mouth tasted like dried blood. The air grew cold with an autumn chill. But he kept plodding forward, making his limbs work, forcing himself to walk. He had to get back to the castle. He had to make sure that X was all right, had to keep him safe, keep his promises.

 

-

 

            It was high noon the next day by the time Zero made it to Abel’s gates. The moat was filled with dead bodies, but the gates were not broken. People were rushing in and out of them, doctors and soldiers and undertakers. Zero wondered vaguely who had survived, where Signas was. He sheathed his sword and climbed through the streets of Abel.

            He knew that they had won the war, but it certainly didn’t feel like a victory. Men and women alike were looking desperately out of their windows for signs of their spouses. Children were crying. The marketplace was empty. When he reached the castle, a guard recognized him and he finally had someone to lean on. Relieved, he let the man half-carry him inside.

            The guard paused, tugging on the fingers of his glove.

            “Er, should I take you to your chambers, sir, or the prince’s? Or to the hospital?”

            “I’m fine,” Zero croaked, waving his hand. “Just help me up the stairs to the mezzanine over Cain’s statue and I can carry myself from there.”

            The guard did so. Zero wobbled a little on his feet when the guard let go of him, but held himself upright. As he turned to go, he suddenly recalled something that he liked about X. In light of his vow to himself, he faced the guard again.

            “What’s your name, soldier?” he asked.

            “What? Er, I’m… I’m Benjamin, sir.”

            “Thank you, Benjamin,” said Zero. He tried his best to memorize the man’s features so that he could recognize him later.

            He wasn’t sure if it would be the best idea to show up at X’s chambers looking the way he did, or if X would even be there, but he forced himself up the tower, almost crawling on the steps, and pushed the door open.

            “X?” he called.

            There was no answer.

            Baffled, but too exhausted to care, Zero dragged himself to the bathing room. Maybe he could clean himself up before X returned from wherever he was. A little part of him was worried that something had happened to the prince, but he simply couldn’t muster the energy to pay it any heed.

            The water of the bath nearly put him to sleep. The perfume soothed the troubled parts of Zero’s mind as he forced himself to keep his eyes open, scrubbing the blood and dirt off of his skin. Untangling his hair frustrated him to no end, but it felt good to be clean. When he was finished he stepped out of the basin, scowling at the now-murky water, and realized that he hadn’t brought a change of clothes with him.

            He sighed and toweled himself dry. Surely X would have some sort of robe that he could put on for now and finally sleep. He wrapped the towel around himself and opened the bathing room door, trying to remember which of the doors across from him led to the closet. He was beginning to grow dizzy.

            “Oh!”

            Zero jumped and automatically went for his sword, but there was no sheathe over his left shoulder. He blinked at Tildy, who stared at him.

            “Zero?” she cried. “I mean, Lieutenant, sir?” She flushed.

            “You have terrific timing,” said Zero flatly.

            Tildy giggled. “Oh, our prince will be so happy to see you! He’s been in absolute shambles since you left.”

            “Speaking of, where is he?” Zero headed towards the closet. He was simply too tired to care if an old woman saw him in a towel. He made a mental note to tell X that Tildy had seen him more naked than the prince had.

            “He went to the grand hall, sir,” said Tildy. “I’m surprised he didn’t see you on the way in.”

            “The grand hall? Whyever would he go there? He always eats up here.” Zero browsed the racks of clothing. Most of them were much too small for him.

            “Oh, he’s been so good, he’s kept everyone’s heads on straight while Captain Signas is gone.”

            “Gone?” Zero didn’t know how much more information his tired brain could handle.

            “To Maverick, sir. To rescue Lieutenant Lumine.”

            “Oh.” Zero picked up a long blue nightgown. It would have to do. He shuffled back out of the closet and turned to Tildy.

            “I’m going to sleep in there,” he said, pointing towards the bedroom. Her smile told him that he was far too tired to be talking.

            “I’ll tell X you’re back,” said Tildy cheerfully.

            “No, no, wait. Let him keep doing his job. He’s the prince. It’ll be a nice surprise, don’t you think?” He walked to the door to the solar door before turning back to her. “Oh, and, Tildy… Don’t go telling everyone this time, all right?”

            Tildy cast him a roguish little smile, nodded, curtsied, and left.

            With a sigh of relief, Zero crossed the solar and went into the bedroom. He barely managed to pull on the nightgown before he collapsed onto the bed, unconscious within seconds.

           

           

           

           


End file.
